So I've been reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau. I like it because it offers a "middle way" between on-demand feedings of the new baby and the strict (and frankly out-dated!) notion of timing the length of the baby's feeding and the spaces between feedings. Twenty minute feedings with four hours between each? Please. No newborn baby is going to cooperate with that.
Tracy offers a simple and memorable suggestion: the E.A.S.Y. approach. In this approach, the baby eats (E), does some activity (A), sleeps (S), and then, you (Y), the parent or caregiver, have some time to yourself to rest and rejuvenate. Activities for newborns include sponge baths, lying down and looking around, or just interacting with mom.
For this approach to work, super-organized parents who were trying to time and control baby's schedule need to relax. Super-laidback parents who have no schedule for their own days need to create a routine for the baby. But both types of parents can make changes because, honestly, it's pretty EASY. :)
The EASY approach involves respecting your new baby as a person and learning to listen to her cries, to pick up on his cues, and to generally be sensitive to how your baby is communicating. Babies communicate non-verbally, through crying and physical movements. The pitch, intensity, and frequency of crying makes the cry mean different things, and parents can learn to understand what their newborns are saying if they listen.
Tracy advises the S.L.O.W. approach to interpreting a baby's needs: stop (S), listen (L), observe (O), and ask, "What's up?" (W). If baby is crying because she has a diaper she wants changed and you offer her the breast or the bottle, she may get frustrated! How would you feel if you went into a restaurant, clearly said you needed the restroom, and the waiter led you to a table and spread out a massive pasta feast? The food might look and smell good, even if you weren't asking for it, but you would still need to find the toilet pretty quick.
It helps to remember that most babies will cry at different times throughout the day. Some even have a "fussy" time of day. Crying is normal for newborns! It shouldn't be ignored, of course, because a baby is helpless and his cries really are cries for help. But crying is not a cause for alarm. It's the opportunity to listen, interpret the baby's needs, and respond.
*For a more detailed review of this book, see http://www.storknet.com/bookshelf/babywhisperer.htm.
