The Birth of Ephraim Matthew
June 17, 2011- 2:59am
West Suburban Hospital, Oak Park, Illinois
This is our story, the story of your birth.
'It was a Tuesday night, and your dad and I had just finished celebrating his thirtieth birthday early because we knew you would be coming soon. We settled in to bed to watch an episode of “Sliders” on Netflix, when you started stretching like crazy! It felt like you were arching your back as much as you could, with your bottom sticking straight up (I would discover later that this is how you always stretch when you are first waking up). A couple of big stretches like that was all it took for my water to break. Your dad and I looked at each other for the longest time, with shocked smiles, before we spoke, so excited it sounded more like squealing than talking.
We called our doula, Jane, a gift from God to us, who told us to try to sleep through the night, since it was 11pm and I wasn’t having any contractions. We slept very little, timing every little contraction. Wednesday morning, we thought for sure you would be born that day. We walked and relaxed, trying to get my contractions stronger and closer together. Your dad made me an amazing dinner, and we walked to Oberweis for dessert. But at the end of the day, we decided to try to get some sleep and hope for more progress the next day.
Thursday morning found us sleepy, but still excited. Sometime around 1AM, my contractions got stronger, and any hope of a restful night’s sleep was gone. Your dad slept on the floor most of the night, timing contractions, sleeping between them, and encouraging me. Jane came over in the morning to labor with us. It was a lovely morning, and we spent it worshiping God, singing, praying for you and for each other, and of course, timing contractions. Around 9am, my contractions were two minutes long, two minutes apart, and very strong. I was showing signs of transition, so Jane thought it was time to go to the hospital. We knew that we were going to have you in the hospital, but suddenly I became very fearful, and I didn’t want to leave home.
Something you should know about your mother is that I have always seemed to struggle with fear. It has crippled me at times and kept me from doing so many things I should have done or wanted to do. So, I knew it was a leap for me to want an unmedicated birth without any medical intervention, but I was done letting fear control me. I struggled with fear of labor throughout my pregnancy, but I never wanted to go back on the plan: to let labor happen naturally and to allow both of us to function just the way in which God designed us. If I could do that, I thought, it would be a victory over fear.
Although I was nervous about leaving our peaceful haven of labor, we didn’t really have any other options lined up, so, around 10am, off to the hospital we went. It was a thirty minute drive from Wheaton to Oak Park, and I had one contraction the entire drive. I was in a lot of pain, and by the time we got to the hospital, I thought for sure you would come any minute. They took me to triage, where we discovered two discouraging factors, both of which made me ineligible to have the water birth we had planned: I was only 3 centimeters dilated, and you had passed meconium. The midwife, Amy, was concerned because my water had been broken for so long, that I would get an infection, and because you had passed meconium, that you were in danger also. They moved us to a regular hospital room to monitor both of us closely.
Because I was feeling discouraged at this point, it was really difficult to find any kind of rhythm with my labor. And because I was in a room that was usually reserved for medicated births, hospital personnel were very comfortable coming in and out of the room, further complicating my ability to relax and get down to the business of birthing you. I was very uncomfortable and tired, and I knew I needed God’s strength to get me through whatever time was left. I knew that many people (I wouldn’t find out until later just how many) were praying for us, because I could feel bursts of energy and encouragement right when I was ready to give up.
At one point, when I was so exhausted and my spirit seemed completely deflated, I started thinking, “I can’t do this. I can’t go any longer.” I felt the Spirit speak to me and say, “You have a choice. Be careful of what comes out of your mouth next.” I will never forget that moment; it was a turning point for me. I chose to speak life, I chose to say, “I can do this.” I chose not to let fear dictate my actions. I was one step closer to conquering fear that had kept me in chains for a long time.
Your father was amazing. He never left my side. He walked with me in circles, holding my hand and supporting me with his strength. He held me when I was having contractions and breathed with me, speaking sweet words of encouragement. He prayed with me and sang with me. We kept singing, “God, I Look to You.” It was my anthem as I prepared for your birth, and it was my anthem as I was birthing you.
God I look to You
I won’t be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like you do
God I look to You
You’re where my help comes from
Give me wisdom, you know just what to do
I will love you, Lord my strength
I will love you, Lord my shield
I will love you, Lord my rock
Forever, all my days, I will love you, God.
Hallelujah, our God reigns
Forever, all my days, hallelujah
Your Nana was a prayer warrior, and your Meme, too. They never stopped crying out to God on our behalf, late into the night, early in the morning. Be sure to ask your Meme about her time praying for you and what God showed her. Your Nana was such a calming presence for me. At one point, I had just gotten out of the shower and I was so tired. I lay down in the bed, which was very uncomfortable, and fell asleep for about ten minutes. When I woke up, your Nana was by the bed, facing me and stroking my hair.
Jane said that she thought I should try to have some contractions in the bed, so I stayed still and waited for the next one to come. When it did, your Nana began to instruct me very specifically to relax my legs, to breathe into my legs, to open up my hips. She said later that she felt God was really giving her the very things I needed to do to help you move down into the birth canal. This was when things got really exciting! I could feel you turning and moving with every breath, every contraction. It felt like we were a team, working together, completely tuned to each other’s every movement. I had a few more contractions like this, with Nana coaching me, and Jane applying pressure to my hips, and then I started to want to push.
You were finally ready to meet us! I started to push, and you were out in about ten minutes. Daddy caught you: his were the first hands that ever touched you in this world. The umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck twice, so Amy took you from your dad to untangle you. After that, you were taken to the warmer, where your daddy stayed by your side, just like he had mine. He spoke to you so sweetly, and you stopped crying immediately when you heard his voice. You began searching for him, and when your eyes found his face, you stayed locked on him while he soothed you with his voice and his touch.
You were six pounds, twelve ounces, twenty and a half inches long, fearfully and wonderfully made: Ephraim Matthew, doubly fruitful gift of God.
